Alec Zeck

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My name is Daniel Alexander Zeck, but I’ve always gone by “Alec.” I’m a 32-year-old father to two little ones and husband to my high school sweetheart, Kylee, who’s pregnant with our third. I have 3 siblings — Nino is my older brother, Emma is my younger sister, and Drew is my younger brother. I grew up as a basketball-obsessed son of a college basketball coach turned family car business manager and a mostly stay-at-home mom. Most people in America would consider my childhood environment broken, chaotic, and incredibly traumatic. My mom and dad were repeating toxic generational patterns—doing the best they could with the tools they had—but their relationship to themselves, to each other, and to us was incredibly destructive. As a result, my siblings and I suffered a lot of abuse and neglect. My dad was very tough on me. I was often called every name in the book and made to feel worthless if I didn’t perform well in basketball or school. At the worst, I was punched, pushed, or hit—patterns my dad learned from his dad, who learned from his dad, and so on. My dad had it worse than I did, for sure. That said, I’d like to stress that my dad and I now have the best relationship we’ve ever had. I’m blessed to know the power of forgiveness and compassion and to witness him work on himself and show up as a dad and a grandpa for me and my kids every day. My mom, on the other hand, was on psych drugs for most of my childhood. At her worst, I saw her experience uncontrollable shaking, scream that her skin was on fire, go days without eating or sleeping, hallucinate, claim to see demons, and even attempt suicide. Sadly, I don’t have a relationship with her today because she doesn’t agree with me having a relationship with my dad. My whole childhood revolved around basketball. I lived, breathed, and ate the sport, dreaming of playing D1 basketball. But because my performance was so tied to my self-worth—and my fear of failure was so great—I struggled to perform when it counted. The only D1 school that gave me a look was the United States Military Academy at West Point... (Continued in comments)